Because I'm Ian

Bad Back and Hangovers

2009-07-11T19:09:47+02:00

I must admit to having had a bit of weird week. It all started with Jo's (sister) party last weekend. I had had to get my boss to cover a bit of business for me at work so that I could get ready. Obviously by get ready I don't mean working out what to wear, as a bloke this involves nothing much more than finding something clean and some socks to match it and then possibly some trouser like garb that goes with both, normally referred to as jeans, for once I wore shorts. I digress, I was having a friend over from the States, Carolynne, and so I needed to be home to make sure that she didn't arrive to......well, no me, it's rather difficult to be a host if you aren't there.
The party itself, as usual was great, Carolynne had decided that the best way to enjoy one of Jo's parties was to match the Mayer clan on the drinking pace, this usually makes for a rather grotty Sunday preceded by copious amounts of karaoke and true to form, we did. As we were all a tad too battered to actually operate the machine and hadn't got a torch to help to focus on the buttons Jo announced that we would do karaoke lottery, whatever came on someone had to sing. This made it more fun/difficult/embarressing than usual, we even got Caz to sing and she turned out to be the best of the night, no great surprise really. Jo and I tackled all kinds of crap and I for one slaughtered quite a few favourites, luckily none of mine but I am sure that a few people were annoyed by what I did. As the party was outside we had decided to cut the karaoke by 1am, this was quite a godsend as I departed for home quite early by party standards.
My Sunday started rather earlier than I had intended. My lovely house guest seemed to be suffering from a spot of jet lag and so was up by about 9:30. Somehow through the fog of a highly enjoyable and alcohol fuelled evening I managed to hear her pottering around the flat and so the tea-fest started. We managed about 8 cuppas and a rather large bacon and egg butty each, not the best I had ever cooked but I was rather fuzzy in the old brain box. Jo called and so we went to hers again and we were promptly sent off to Morrisons for food, 2 cooked chickens, 2 French sticks, cheese and strawberries & cream. Jo's idea was a carpet picnic while watching the Wimbledon Men's Final. Brilliant, quite brilliant! Sadly carolynne had to go early to baby sit her nieces and I got a rather decent amount of chicken to take home.
The following day I went to work and rather badly sprained my back folding up a projector screen, How ridiculous is that? I managed another few hours before deciding that the pain was not too pleasant and went home. This was the start of a rather painful week, sitting at home and trying to run the tech side of the conference centre from my living room. I basically managed it too, rather a surprise. It was slightly gratifying to be at least getting some stuff done from home even if I did have poor Matt doing all the physical stuff at work.
By Thursday I was feeling like the Prisoner of Zenda and so with then old back feeling a tad better on Friday, I went in to work. It turned out to be a good idea to begin with. I got quite a bit of stuff achieved and sorted out stuff for the following week, then the day turned out to be a bad idea as my back started killing me; home again, home again, jiggity jig. So a few extra painkillers and lashings of ibuprofen gel later, it was out for Jo's birthday meal. Beautiful food a ta great restaurant out in the countryside called, the Croft. Then back to hers and now it is Saturday and I feel like I did last weekend only now my head is falling off and I have bad back.
The worst/best thing is I have to go and do it all again now. We're doing curry and stuff in the Marquee at Jo's and I suppose I shall be watching tomorrow's Grand Prix with another hangover.
Once to Jo's dear friends, once more to Jo's.

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Summer's here (again)

2008-06-25T20:56:33+02:00

This is the 3rd time this er, summer that we've had summer. To anyone outside the UK that might not make a lot of sense, to those of us who live here it makes perfect sense. Last year was all rain and floods which sadly claimed the lives of quite a number of people, the year before it was incredibly hot, which sadly claimed the lives of a number of people. This year it seems to be back to normal, sunny and hot for a week, mild and damp for a few days, overcast and rainy for a couple of weeks and then repeat, all this does is sap the will to live but this is what a life in Albion is all about.

As I may have mentioned previously, I am now working as a Technical Stage Manager at the UK's leading theme park, this year re-branded as a Resort (we have two themed hotels on site and a rather excellent Spa), Alton Towers. It really is quite fun and a little weird bearing in mind that this was a place that I used to go to as a kid, well teenager and be all thrilled about, to be honest it is still quite thrilling even now. The place really is incredibly pretty, set in 500 acres of Staffordshire Moorlands countryside it is quite uplifting to look at when you get to work in the morning, even for a cynical old sod like me.

See, nice isn’t it? Oh Ok, here's one of the rides then:

I am still doing the usual stuff; talking about getting some exercise and then failing to get around to it, procrastinating about bettering myself & reading all kinds of different books; at the moment they are ‘The Picture Of Dorian Gray’, ‘On The Evolution Of The Species’, ‘The Bible’, and book about Scottish Myths & Legends called, “Scottish Myths and Legends’ surprisingly enough. I am not sure what I am learning but I may be about to develop a belief system based on the supernatural evolution of a narcissistic aquatic tartan beastie. Hey it could be worse I could start a religion people could believe in, if such a thing exists……sorry did I really say that? Ooh on a good note the blasphemy laws have finally been repealed in the UK. FREEEEEEEEDOOOOOM! (As William Wallace famously didn’t say as he was tortured, contrary to the films’ ending.) Not exciting for a lot of you, I know but I think it is quite a move forward, now if we can just get RE (or is it RI nowadays?) out of school, separate the Church and State and convince the Intelligent Designers(?)/Creationists to stay out of the UK all will be good.

Well that’s all for now, I was nearly inspired to be witty today and it all went horribly wrong, maybe next time.
On the brighter side, I just cooked and it was lovely.

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Not Too Wobbly

2008-04-12T16:46:09+02:00

To get over the crappy anxiety of my last post, which by the way I thought was slightly funnier than some of you did, I went out on the town with Phil last night. Sounds impressive eh? Binge drinking, picking up women, dancing the night away in a club until the early hours of the morning and generally making merry.

It was something like that, two 41 year old chaps popped down the town, had a few beers in a few pubs and buggered off home at 12:20am. Not quite what you had in mind is it that? Yeah well, that is what happens when you get past 40, sometimes you recognise a bad night out for what it is and sod off home. No more of that "I'll just hang on for another hour or 2 and see if I can pick something up." Mainly because when you do that everyone else is as battered as you are and the results can be rather frightening. I don't speak from experience here, well OK, maybe a bit.

It wasn't that bad a night really, we were doing OK, we went to see Bernie who was DJ-ing at a pub in town and then we went onto a few more pubs, but when Phil switched to water for the last 2 drinks and all I wanted to do was have a spot of dinner and put me feet up, well....you know. So off to kebab land (not really it doesn't exist) that is to say that I went for a kebab while Phil got the cab and off we toddled. I got home and had a coffee and a kebab and now my flat smells suspiciously of chips, cheap meat and chilli and garlic sauce.

Today started a little iff-ily (I know, I made it up), as I had a slight hangover and as I say the flat was a tad pungent. But a pint of water, windows open and a cuppa and all seems right with the world.

Well tomorrow is back to work time, although not until 3pm (yay) and at the hotel so none of that working out in the cold and rain as seems to have been the recurring theme in my tenure so far.

Right-ho, time to go, the meat is cooking and it is time to add the sauce and get the pasta on.

By the way check out Stephen Fry's website and read his 'blessays', http://www.stephenfry.com/ they really are quite excellent and just what a blog should be. Of course he does have a brain the size of Kent, I am quite sure that it helps!

Byyyeee, for now.

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St Lucia Dec 6th 2007

2007-12-08T18:12:00+01:00

Here I am sitting at the airport in St Lucia, thinking about the last 12 years of my life. I am watching a man who works at what serves as a café here. He seems to be quite content in his job, which entails me telling him what sandwich I want and he gets it out of the fridge that I am standing in front of and am able to get it from myself. I then order a coffee for me and my father, who is sitting here with me and there is a whole setup for you to do it yourself, hot water, packets of instant coffee, packets of sugar etc. but he makes it all for you. The point is, as I said, he looks to be totally happy in this work. I on the other hand have just left a job that I did not like, well not for the last 6 or 7 years anyway and the thing is in the 12 years I was there, I saw the Pyramids 3 times, Ephesus 4 times, the Temple of Artemis twice, I walked through the city of Petra and climbed over most of it. I went to the Valley of the Kings, the temples of Karnack and Luxor, the Coliseum in Rome and the Vatican.

During this time I have visited Africa, Australia, the North and South Americas, Russia, China and Japan to name but a few but still I was unhappy about it – the job, that is. Well from now on I don’t have to worry about it too much, on 5th December I made a bit of a boo boo at work, which was relatively big and should by all rights gained me a written warning. Unfortunately due to the fact that someone got out of bed the wrong side that day, I find myself a day later sitting at the airport waiting for a flight to go home and you know what? For some strange reason I am beginning to feel as happy as the guy serving sandwiches and coffee. Sure I don’t even have a job doing that right now but in time………well, let’s just say that now I have to find a job, let the adventure begin again.

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Isn't The World Wonderful 5

2007-07-12T14:34:18+02:00

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Isn't The World Wonderful 4

2007-07-12T14:33:10+02:00

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Isn't The World Wonderful 3

2007-07-12T14:32:07+02:00

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Isn't The World Wonderful 2

2007-07-12T14:31:17+02:00

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Isn't The World Wonderful 1

2007-07-12T14:30:15+02:00

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Slap Head

2007-07-05T17:17:38+02:00

It's still raining, although the chap who was coming on Monday to touch up up a few chips and scratches on my car did actually make it today, so that was a good start. Actually that wasn't the start, the start was a 9:30am call from Mother to pick her up from my sister's where she had spent the night after they had been to my Barry Manilow loving Aunt's house for dinner and and girly night chatting in the conservatory; not a musical conservatory, just one of those glass things that you have attached to the back of your house. Quite hot in summer and bloody freezing in the winter and possibly just about bearable in this weather.
I digress (surprisingly), so I went to get her, she asked if it was possible to go out on a shopping trip to try and find a particular garment that my sister had purchased for her from a certain high street retailers catalogue. The neck was too big and so Mum wanted a size smaller. Of course the shop didn't have it, the lady helping us was very....helpful, but every time the dear thing checked a stock level in her shop or another she insisted on telling us that the stock system was 24 hours behind. I wouldn't mind but she explained this 4 times in a terrible whiny dialect that in synonymous with the Potteries (for anyone not from the UK - and possibly a few from the UK - the Potteries is the area of North Staffordshire which encapsulates the 6 towns of Stoke-on-Trent, and makes pottery surprisingly enough - Doulton, Wedgwood etc.). The dialect, although softer now in the older generation than it was was I was a child, is as confusing for the outsider to understand as Geordie or Glaswegian, this is not a bad thing, just an observation. It does, unfortunately, sound horribly unintelligent and dare I say even moronic though (this is an observation and a bad thing). Whereas the other 2 I mentioned do sound lilting and somewhat charming.
I managed to go shopping for a few groceries with only #4.20 (where is the sodding pound sign?) in my pocket, which meant I could only buy what I needed so that saved me a few quid.
Next I went to get my hair cut, granted this was done on a bit of a whim and was not at all thought out. I now have a summer hair cut, rather like a U.S. Marine, not a fresh recruit mind you, it's short around the side and the back and with a bit of length on top. More akin to a Colonel or a Major, you know someone who has been around a while and does not have to have the degrading stubbly slap head whilst yelling Hoo Yah! every thirty seconds. Why do they do that? It can't work very well in the field approaching the Taliban can it? Imaging crawling across the Afghan dessert singing, "I don't know but I've been told, blah blah something that rhymes with told......Hoo Yah Sarn't Major" they would get shot to shit doing that!
So, my car is shiny, my head is shiny (in parts), it's still raining, Mum didn't get a new top and N**t's stock control system sucks as it can't track anything in a shorter time frame than 24 hours.
By Jove you live and learn don't you?

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When did England get a rainy season?

2007-07-03T17:34:44+02:00

So, home again, home again, lah dee dah. It would be lovely if it were not for the fact that it has pee'd down nearly everyday for a week, I mean it is seriously wet out there. For those of you reading this (if anyone is reading this) living outside the UK who may think "It always rains in England, it's what it does!" Well yes and no; granted it does rain a lot but not as much as you think. Scandinavia should be especially grateful to the UK as we are the first landfall the weather systems make as they come up the Atlantic and hence we break the weather, get the rain and cloud and they get all the sun in summer, at least we have daylight in the winter.
Anyway, it doesn't always rain here, it just seems that way as it rains whenever you (whoever you are) visit. This truly is one of the most beautiful places on earth when the sun is shinning, there is nowhere like the UK on a hot balmy summer's day no matter where on the island you may be.
Mind you, as I said, it has pissed down for a week and a couple of days already and that is quite enough thank you. Especially when I have only been in the country that long on this vacation, it really is enough.
It now looks like I shall be back on the ship by the last week in August, two months on the Symphony and then two months on the Serenity is not too bad, a little change of scenery to keep the boredom away.
That's enough for now, it's time to make a meatball sandwich, set up my new printer, pour a glass of wine and settle down to read a little more Christopher Hitchens. You never know, I may even have a wander up to the pub, rain or not it is summer you know.
Ian

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What a Day

2007-03-27T03:11:35+02:00

So it is 2:51 in the am and I been mucking around with this thing for about an hour, between one thing and another. I have no idea why, it's not like anyone really wants to read what I have to say, or fior that matter who I am going to tell about the damn thing. Still as everyone else seems to be doing it I thought I would have a go, if nothing else it will b e a journal for me. If you do happen to be reading this and there arfe spelling mistakes, I assure you for the most part they are not spelling mistakes, they are typing and proofing mistakes, honestly.
Anyway after all that hard work, not just this blog creation but other stuff too, I think it is time for bed as I need to be up in about 5 hours..
My word what an exciting forst blog entry this was, gripping stuff, thrilling!

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